i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
