yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
