i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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