You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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