you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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