Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Blood and glitter go together right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
