are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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