A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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