Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
