He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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