do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
