Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
