I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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