he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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