she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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