he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I believe in your delicious
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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