We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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