Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Oh god it's open bar.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
