Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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