apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize