Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
try to milk me bitch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
