just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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