Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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