A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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