I puked a lego.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
