Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
