Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
