hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize