I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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