My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
