my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
