Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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