so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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