Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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