So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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