is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
