just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
