I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
