Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
