going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
