yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
