Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize