Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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