I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
