I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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