We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
