My underwear smells like fireworks.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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