how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
