He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
