So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
