it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
