We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
MIDGETS
????
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
