you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
