I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
