Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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