Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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