glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
