whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
