I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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