The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Pooping to opera.
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